The International Journey

Moving Forward

2012-01-20T22:03:00.003-06:00

One more thing checked off the list. We filled out our formal application earlier this week and all was approved on Friday. We have more paperwork to mail in and then we can move onto our home study. We just taking this one step at a time because starting a second adoption (from another country) is basically starting from scratch. This is a whole new journey with new requirements, documents, timelines, etc. I feel like am spending a ton of time reading the boards (especially RQ) just trying to learn all the ins and outs of all this. Sometimes it feels like learning a whole new language. Plus its a nice distraction from my thesis...that's what I really should be focussing on ;) I promise next week it will be back to work on that project.

Other than that...we had a few more inches of snow to keep us busy and more expected tonight. Looking forward to taking Christian out on a sled for the first time sometime this weekend!

Official First Step

2012-01-08T21:57:00.004-06:00

We took the "official" first step tonight! Our preliminary application has been sent to BCS. Now we have a few days to wait until approval. Then it will (hopefully) be onto the formal application. Other than that we've been brainstorming fundraising ideas and making lists of things that can be sold and/or rummaged this summer. We are going to be so busy, especially because while we prepare our dossier I will be completing the final semester of my master's program (aka - writing the final chapters of my thesis). At least this will keep my mind off the wait! :)

Happy Holidays!

2011-12-28T22:36:00.004-06:00

A blog update for us is long over due! We are enjoying life as a family of 3 and our little guy is the light of our lives. Some how he is already just over 2.5 years old....how did that happen already?!?

But - we are planning to expand our family to include one more. So in 2012 we will be diving in to adoption #2!!!!!! Unfortunately, the S. Korean program is no longer open through our agency which means we are starting a completely new journey through the China (COP/Waiting Child) program. There are lots of differences with this program - especially now that we will be assembling as dossier and learning all the inns and outs of the procedures with China Adoption. I am sure it will be another roller coster ride but we are thrilled to have the chance to add to our family though the miracle of adoption :) I am already dreaming of his (or her) sweet little face and carrying another little one around in the E.rgo. 2012 is going to be an exciting year, I can feel it!!!!

Let the paper chasing (and saving/fundraising) begin!!!!!!!

14 months already!!!!!

2010-07-12T21:03:00.003-05:00

Time is going way too fast but we're enjoying every moment!

I'm 13 months old!

2010-06-19T16:39:00.003-05:00

Our little CJ is now 13 months old. He really is more of a toddler now that a baby. Here are some things that he can do now....

Talks - he can say Appa (dad in Korean), Omma (mom in Korea), Mama (food/snack in Korean), Bella, Hi, Bye-Bye, ball, baby, wawa (water). He uses this little, tiny quiet voice when he's trying to say a real word...its very cute!
Appa, Appa, Appa....his FAVORITE thing to say. He loves daddy and misses him while he's at work.
Feeding and drinking by himself. And if he wants to do it himself he will let you know!
Likes to hear himself screech and scream sometimes and he thinks its funny.
Walks really well. Is getting faster so I know its only a short time before the running starts.
Loves peek-a-boo and being chased around.
Loves being outside.
He's into throwing his toys and cups right now. He thinks its especially funny if it hits the dog...poor Bella.
He's very interested in putting things together and taking them apart.
Favorite foods are definitely fruit right now. I think he would eat watermelon until he was sick if we let him.
He's phasing out his bottles...we're now down to 2. One at nap and one at bedtime.

Its so hard to imagine that we ever had to live without him. I am so thankful that we were chosen to be his parents.

Sandbox fun

2010-06-03T21:47:00.002-05:00

Yummy? Not so much!!!! CJ had his fist adventure in the sandbox. I think he had fun except he is still having issues with his feet touching things outside. Going to have to work on the whole barefoot experience with him! I think he did realize that the sand doesn't really taste good.

Notice how we are very carefully keeping our feet out of the sand ;)

Dol Party!

2010-05-24T21:19:00.005-05:00

On Saturday we had CJ's Dol party. We had lots of people here at our house to celebrate. Good food, beautiful weather, and lots of fun!!!!!

Table we had set up for the voting for the Dol-Jab-i game (casting votes) and for people to sign CJ's photo frame.
Dol table..I chose to do a modern version of the towers. They were vases filled with fruit and candy.

Yummy cake!

It was a big decision (and boy did he ever take his time)! But he chose.....
The gavel and the microphone..what a combination?!?
I made a TON of sangria...it was sooooo good!!!!!!

Can't believe its done! We had a great time and we enjoyed having so many of our family members and friend meet Christian. So happy that we have the opportunity to celebrate these special occasions with our son. We are so blessed.

Hanbock pictures!!!!!!

2010-05-17T16:48:00.002-05:00

On Sunday we had Christian's one year photo's taken...here are his pictures in his Hanbock...the traditional Korean outfit used for celebrations.

Happy Birthday CJ!!!!!!!

2010-05-09T14:27:00.004-05:00

Today our little guy turns 1 today....(or yesterday if we were in Korea!) We celebrated with lots of yummy Korean food, cake, and presents!!!!!!

Checking out his Pororo cup. Pororo is a popular Korean cartoon. We still watch it here sometimes on You.Tube because he recognizes it! He was super excited about his cup and dish set :)

Messy boy!!!!!!!!

Our dinner...Korean beef (bulgogi), rice, seafood pancake (Hae-mul pa-jeon), cucumber salad, and dumplings! It was all really good.

Home 3 weeks

2010-04-30T14:58:00.004-05:00

Well we've been home a little over 3 weeks. It sure is busy around here with an active almost one year old. We are busy planning his party - in Korea it is know as a Dol. There are lots of fun customs and aspects to the party that we are going to try are best to incorporate. Most of all we are just hoping for some beautiful weather. It will be fun for our family and friend to all get together and meet CJ if they haven't had the chance yet!

Looking forward to a fun weekend too! Mommy and Daddy are running a 1/2 marathon! Weather should be just great and we should get to take lots of fun pictures on race day :)

I love my dog!

2010-04-13T19:21:00.002-05:00

This boy is all about his dog! He loves her sooooo much! Poor Bella even needs a break sometimes because he tires her out. She's so gentle with him its amazing.

We are home!

2010-04-08T20:12:00.002-05:00

After an exhausting day of travel we are home and settling in. Our little guy is really doing wonderful so far. He is very calm and happy almost all the time. He slept a lot on the plane and was only a tiny bit fussy at times...I was fussy too after being on a plane for 12+ hours! This kid loves to eat and sleep. Somehow he slept over 12 hours last night and he only woke up once...after that he went back to sleep for most of the night. Today he went back into his regular routine. He took a nice 2 hour nap around lunch (in the crib)! Now he is back to sleep after taking a bath. He is in the crib now so we'll have to see how that goes tonight. In Korea he only ever slept in bed with the foster parents, so the crib is totally new to him.

Here he is trying to pick up some banana.

Enjoying his banana.

Hanging out with Bella. He really like her so far. He laughs at her a lot. She is being so good considering she was the only "child" before this! He also like the cat....he tries to catch her but he's not fast enough!
Playing with my big truck...if it has wheels he loves it!

Tiny feet :)

Family Day!!!!!!

2010-04-06T06:22:00.003-05:00

We are finally a family of three! This was an amazing day. I think that you go through more emotions than you ever thought was possible. His foster mother was amazing and today she gave us all these wonderful gifts. I'll post some pictures of them when we get home. They were more then I could have imagined. CJ is doing well all things considered. Our poor cab driver did so well with him screaming the whole way to the hotel. After we got back he took a bottle and then had a nice long nap. Then we played for a few hours this evening. He got a little fussy when we tried to put him to bed. For now he is sleeping. We are going to finish packing and then try to get some sleep too. Tomorrow we fly home...should be an interesting plane ride.

Sleeping after his bottle.

Sleeping peacefully.....

Reaching for the camera...he absolutely loves it. I think my setting are all mixed up now from his little fingers pushing buttons.

Going for the Coke Zero.
Looking out the window with dad...He was actually squealing at the cars down below.
Looking at a book.
Playing and having a snack with dad.

Its really that good...trust me!

2010-04-05T05:36:00.004-05:00

The food here has been great. But our absolute favorite has been a place called Sadongmyeonok. This was our second trip there and the food is just really good, amazingly good.

Insadong at night (I now love using my camera @ night without the flash).
Making the precious dumplings...
Haemul panjeon...aka seafood pancake. Its so good Jim eats it (octopus, oyster, shrimp) without any complaints. I could eat this everyday!
Korean side dishes brought out before each meal.
And the best part...the heavenly dumplings! Food like this should be a reason to travel to Seoul!

A little bit more of Seoul...

2010-04-05T00:03:00.005-05:00

We just got back from our city tour arranged through Holt. We had a really nice time. They had planned on taking us to a palace but we had already been their. So we did a big walking tour and saw lots of the city. Its a beautiful day today...I think temps finally got into the 60's.

Top of the shopping center in Insadong.

On our walking tour....

Namdaemun Market was absolutely huge! I think they probably sell anything you can imagine!

Hidden in the interior of the shops are all these tiny little restaurants. If we weren't with our guides we would have never know they were there. It was like stepping into another world. We went into this tiny place and then up to the second floor (walking up the steepest stairs you've ever seen)! We sat the traditional way...shoes off at the door and cushions on the floor.
Our spread of food when we were done. Rice, fish, seaweed, tofu soup, kimche, etc.
The tiny alleys in and around the restaurants.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T00:21:00.006-05:00

Happy Easter from Seoul! Weather is beautiful today. We did lots of exploring today! We started off with mass at the Cathedral and then we wondered around the surrounding area for some shopping and lots of people watching.

Jim buying our subway tickets...the so far we've had good luck taking the subway! Its really easy.
The view waiting for our train.
Buying our tickets.
The subway station near Lotte/Myeong-Dong.
The shopping areas in Myeong-Dong. It is packeted with more stores than you can imagine. We had fun looking in some of the stores and seeing the difference from the same store in the US. There were some cool running shoes in Nike and New Balance that we don't have in the US.
More shopping!

The massive Lotte complex! This place is unreal. Its huge and there are so many people working here. Its worth walking through just to see all the beautiful things.

Cute Easter baskets being sold outside Myeong-Dong Cathedral.

The cathedral and people waiting to get inside for the next mass.
And finally the dumplings we had at dinner last...anything being hand made in such large quantities has got to be good right?!? Thank you Lonely Planet City Guide for suggesting these!!!!! Best food we had here so far!

Exploring Seoul...

2010-04-03T00:15:00.002-05:00

It is a beautiful spring day here today. A little bit cool and windy but its very sunny...a great day to see some sights. We spent most of the day walking around Gyeongbokgung Palace. It is huge and right in the middle of the city. We also have a nice view of it from our hotel window! So we could walk there in about 5 minutes.

Jim was really trying to be excited about the seafood casserole we ordered for dinner last night. He ate in and he survived...not bad for someone who doesn't like seafood...now that lent is over he can move on to beef!
Top level of a market in Insadong.
Looking down on the main shopping street in Insadong. its nice that our hotel is really close to this area. We can walk to shopping and dinner every night. The streets are filled with shops and tons of Korean restaurants.

The Prince : )

2010-04-02T01:16:00.005-05:00

We had our first meeting today! Everything went really well. Finding Holt on the subway was pretty easy. We left about 2 hours early so we had time to sit and have some lunch at a nearby bakery/cafe. Our little guy isn't very little at all. He's a big boy and he really is walking around! He loves food. His foster family adores him and they actually refer to him as "the prince." After about a 1/2 hour he finally let us hold him for a little while. Here are some photos of our first meeting....

Showing off some of his teeth.....
Walking around....
First family photo!
First time holding him!
Checking out Dad?!?

We're here!!!!

2010-04-01T17:50:00.004-05:00

So we finally made it to Seoul late on Thursday afternoon. We are exactly 14 hours ahead of CST. Last night we tried to stay up so we could get used to the time change and it worked out pretty well. We got unpacked and grabbed an early dinner and then be slept till about 6:30 this morning. I think we should be fine now.

The view from our room this morning...much sunnier today!
Jim with our panjan dinners last (he looks totally exhausted)!!!!
Our room @ the Somerset.

View from our room yesterday...it was foggy and overcast when we arrived.

Our plane...it was huge...Korean Air was amazing.

We'll be updating again later today. We meet CJ @ 1:00 pm local time. We are going to attempt to take the subway.

we have travel plans : )

2010-03-29T18:57:00.002-05:00

We got the rest of our travel plans today. We'll be in Seoul from Wednesday to Wednesday. We will be flying Korean Air from Chicago to Seoul. So happy that we have a non-stop flight. Making several stops would make for a really long travel day. Holt has arranged for us to stay at the Somerset Palace. This hotel is in a great area and it has rooms that are actually more like apartments than hotel rooms.

We will be meeting baby k on Friday at 1 pm. Monday we have a city tour. Tuesday is family day/gotcha day! I am so happy that we get him the night before we travel on wednesday.

Holt is working on arranging a tour of baby k's birth city. I hope that we are able to do this!

I have one more day of work left, then I'm done for the next 8 weeks.

We are so excited and can't wait to get to Seoul to meet our son.

Its a perfect day for a travel call!!!!!!!

2010-03-26T16:04:00.003-05:00

We are going to Seoul!!!!!!! Our baby's coming home!!!!!!!

Could this be any harder?

2010-03-25T18:58:00.002-05:00

Waiting for the travel call has got to be the worst part of the process. I feel completely on edge waiting for our call. I am not very confident that we will get a call tomorrow. For some reason it seems that the calls come mostly at the beginning of the week. So many people get their calls really close to their Visa Interview - sometimes they even travel before the official Visa Interview. I really wish we could have been one of those couples. I know I should be excited that we are this close but it is just really hard right now.

Just feeling really frustrated right now. All these ups and downs are exhausting!!!!!!!!!

getting close...

2010-03-22T17:33:00.003-05:00

We found out today that baby k is really close to coming home. I mean REALLY close. The p3 (packet 3) has been returned with all the info from Korea. Tomorrow the Visa Interview is scheduled (don't ask me what this really is because I don't know....so much of this process is a total mystery). What I do know is that it is the absolute final step before we can get our travel call. I mean we are talking about a travel call THIS week....THIS WEEK!

Thank goodness I had J install the car seat last night. (I'm not allowed to tell anyone how long the installation of the car seat actually took) But its in and we are ready to use it.

I think tonight I will finish up running some last minute errands....dog food, cat food, B-day present for my nephew. Then I can focus on packing the rest of the week.

How in the world will I be able to get anything done at work this week. I think I have almost everything set for my "maternity" leave. As a teacher, its kind of difficult to plan everything for basically the rest of the school year. I feel like I've already written a novel's worth of notes fro the sub and I'm not even done yet. At this point I guess "it is what it is." The kids are in a good routine and I know they will do great.

Hopefully I will be posting a travel call in the next few days....fingers crossed!!!!!!!!

DC - update!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-18T19:44:00.002-05:00

After a long time of obsessively calling DC (thanks dear :) We finally heard that they can see baby K's picture! This is wonderful news because it means that he had his embassy appearance in Seoul. Its almost time! Soon....very soon!

Just dreaming....

2010-03-17T22:18:00.001-05:00

Just dreaming about Costa Rica tonight. Looking forward to making a trip back someday as a family of three..........

Just thinking....

2010-03-16T19:32:00.002-05:00

.......that it is already Wednesday morning in Seoul and baby k could be having his physical this very moment! I can hardly believe that we are at this point in our journey. I am starting to get a little nervous now...still really excited but I guess I am really feeling what all first parents must feel. In a very short time we will be totally responsible for this amazing little person. I can hardly wrap my mind around the fact that we are about to travel 1/2 way around the world to meet our son and bring him home. Its been a dream for so long its hard to believe that it is finally going to happen.

More good news

2010-03-10T20:29:00.002-06:00

Baby K has his visa physical scheduled for next Wednesday (St. Patrick's Day). We are starting to get really excited now (and a little nervous too). Some people have gotten their travel call as soon as 1 week after visa physical....wow that's coming up fast now! After just waiting and waiting it seems so odd that things are starting to move quickly now.

This weekend I'll be making my final "to-do" list.

I can't believe that this is really starting to happen now...we've been dreaming of this moment for just about 5 years now.

Our wish came true....

2010-03-09T19:06:00.004-06:00

Excellent news today......we got our EP (aka Korean Ministry Approval). We got the news today but our official approval came through on Friday. It would be wonderful if baby K got his visa physical this week too. I feel like we are slowly starting to see a travel call in the near future. All the rest of the steps should now fall into place.

Now I need to get organized and get the last few things done on my to-do list.

Baby K.....its my goal to have you home by Easter!!!!!!!!!!!!

My wish of the week...

2010-03-08T17:32:00.002-06:00

Well my wish for this week is still for our Korean Ministry approval (EP) but I am really hoping that it happens early this week. I know that Visa Physicals are scheduled on Wednesday and I am just praying that baby k gets his too. If he doesn't get it this month we have to wait all the way until April and the thought of that is almost too much to handle. I am so tired of worrying about all these details. I just want a little urgency or attempt to get our son home quickly...is that too much to ask? Our timeline was suppose to be 3-4 months....so why are we approaching 5 moths now?!?

For now I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel......

Its March!

2010-03-01T20:19:00.003-06:00

Never did I really think that we would still be waiting for our travel call in March. In December I remember telling people that March was a worst case scenario....and here we are still waiting. Now I am really hoping that he is home by Easter. If we get at all close to his first birthday I just might loose it!!!!!!!!!!!!

This week all we can really hope for is EP....or approval from the Korean ministry. Our approval should be coming up in the next group. Once we get our EP approval then the rest will all fall into place. I really hope we get some good news this week.

photos!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-23T19:56:00.002-06:00

We got new pictures....come on travel call....we need to get to Seoul ASAP!

Its a new week...

2010-02-21T09:30:00.003-06:00

Sundays always seem so full of hope. Its the start to a new week of possibility! Right now its already well into Monday in Seoul and its possible that our EP approval is taking place right now. (Well we can at least hope right?). It would be wonderful to have some movement this week. Once that EP is approved everything else will fall into place and our travel call will be right around the corner.

4 months of waiting

2010-02-16T19:32:00.002-06:00

Yesterday marked four months of waiting to bring home baby k. We are anxiously awaiting the travel call. Our paperwork is finally in Seoul after the snag with our Milwaukee USCIS office (to be honest I don't know if the actually ever sent our paperwork to the NVC). But everything is back to normal. So we are in the final stages of the wait and our social worker told us "the call" could be coming up soon. I sure hope she's right.

Here we go....

2010-02-09T19:21:00.002-06:00

Our adoption is back on track!

We are officially NVC "in"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our paperwork will be in Seoul by Friday. : )

Slow progress...

2010-02-07T11:41:00.002-06:00

This was our update from USCIS after we explained the situation an requested that they resend our I600 to the NVC.

Good Morning,

We will look into your request and reply shortly.

Thank you,

Milwaukee Adoptions

Not really any sort of an update. We will continue to contact them next week. It can't possible take that long for someone to resend the documents to the NVC.

Well Baby Update

2010-02-03T20:24:00.002-06:00

We got a new update on baby k today. No pictures : ( but he is doing well. Up a couple more pounds so he is just under 23 lbs. So happy I have the Ergo for him! He grew a couple centimeters taller. He also can stand on his own. I am sure he will be walking when we get there. I am grateful that he is able to have such a healthy start in Korea with his foster family.

As for the USCIS situation I am still frustrated. Nothing has arrived at the NVC and no one has emailed us back from the USCIS....did I mention that they don't even list a phone number to contact our local office!!!!! How are you even suppose to get any answers?!?

This is my wish...that USCIS gets back to us soon so that we don't miss anymore precious moments with our son.

Frustrated with paperwork

2010-01-30T21:09:00.002-06:00

On Friday we decided to call the National Visa Center (NVC) to get our case number so I could call DC to see if our visa interview had been scheduled. The NVC had no record of us yet. Our I600 approval was on 1/5/10 so they should have received the paperwork from USCIS right around the same time we got the approval in the mail. For some reason its not there. If it is there it has taken a really long time to process. I've seen so many other people logged in and out already with I600 dates past ours. I don't know what happened and I really hope this isn't pushing our travel call farther out.

We were also hoping to get some updated pictures this week and nothing came...this wait is getting harder and hard. Pretty soon he's going to be nine months old. I feel like we are missing so much. He needs to come home soon. Please let our travel call come in the next week or two.

the shopping never ends...

2010-01-24T11:42:00.002-06:00

Just when I think we have everything ready...there's something else I forgot! I know that we will never bee 100% prepared for the travel call but I am trying really had to have almost everything ready. Yesterday we spent the day getting all the gifts and donations that we need fro the trip. So it was fun to get all that stuff ready. Foster mom is getting a necklace with baby k's pictures, foster father foster son are getting some Milwaukee Brewer's gear. Foster daughter is getting some nice soaps. They recommend bring local gifts so we also went to the Jelly Belly store/factory and got lots of small candy bags to give to some of the many people that have been a part of baby k's life so far. (Social workers, doctors, etc.) I think we are almost set with our gifts and donations! Maybe just 1 or 2 small things for the foster family and we'll be done.

Now all we need is a travel call....

The nursery is almost done :)

2010-01-16T20:37:00.006-06:00

We've been

working on Baby K's room on and off since the weekend before Thanksgiving. Its been a lot of work and the project included painting and pulling up some really old carpet. I totally forgot to take a before picture but trust me it wasn't pretty. So, here are some photos of the room now. We just have to hang some stuff on the walls and get our rocking chair then it should be just about complete and ready for baby.

Good News Today!

2010-01-11T18:22:00.004-06:00

We finally received that extra special letter from USCIS approving our visa petition! Our paperwork is now being forwarded to the National Visa Office. After our approval travels in and out of that office it is forward to Seoul.

If all goes well from here we are probably about a month away from our travel call. This would put us in Seoul in mid February.

Now we just have to make sure everything is ready here!!!!!!

Still waiting....

2010-01-05T21:30:00.002-06:00

*sigh* our social worker told us it could be another 7-8 weeks before we travel. Please hurry USCIS and complete our 1600 so we can have our approval and get thing moving a little faster! 7-8 weeks just seems so far away right now.

At least I'm back to work so I no longer can stalk the mailbox. Now I just rush home after work to see if that one precious piece of mail this there.

But for now we're still waiting.

Wellness Report!

2009-12-30T20:43:00.002-06:00

We finally received an updated wellness report on baby K. He'll be 8 months old in a little more than a week. As of December 24th, our little guy is almost 29" tall and 21 lbs! Seems like he'll be a big boy! The biggest news is that he is almost walking....I can't believe it but it says he's crawling, pulling himself up, and walking while he holds onto furniture. He also had 4 teeth. Its so nice to know that his foster family is taking wonderful care of him and that he is growing and developing so well. I really hope our travel call comes soon!

Just Waiting

2009-12-26T16:09:00.002-06:00

No real news around here. We're just waiting. I know the rest of the paperwork will come but the wait is becoming harder and harder. I was truly hoping to see the I600 or an update in the days before Christmas.

Work shower

2009-12-14T21:04:00.003-06:00

My wonderful co-workers gave me a shower during one of our inservice days! Everything was wonderful. I think this was one the cutest cakes I've ever seen.

We had the party in the convent basement which was really funny! I guess that's just part of working at Catholic school! The nuns had the heat up so high everyone was sweating....

Baby K got lots of wonderful things - tons of cloths. They wanted me to have lots to open so I had lots of little gifts and then they all chipped in for his car seat and bath tub. I am so grateful foreveryone's generosity!

So Thankful this year.....

2009-11-25T22:21:00.002-06:00

I know so many people are probably filling blogs with all the things they are thankful for this week. I hate to be just another person rattling on about how wonderful life is. But we've been on the other side for the last four years. The holiday season was really hard. I actually dreaded it months in advance. Events that focus on family are so hard when you don't have one. Now we are finally crossing over to the "other side." And this is the first Thanksgiving In a few years that actually feels pretty good. And even more more importantly - I actually feel "thankful."

I continue to be overwhelmed by the positive reactions of others. Everyone has been so completely supportive of our adoption. Sometimes I really can't believe it. Our son is already surround by so much love. I am so happy that he will be welcomed home by so many people that already love him. This special little guy already brings so much joy to everyone. What a blessing he is.

I am thankful for my co-workers who so generously threw me an amazing baby shower last week. I was overwhelmed by their kindness and generosity. Little one do you know that so many people are waiting for you?!? They have shared my heartache over the years and now I am so happy that they can experience this joyful time.

I am grateful that today we received his legals from Korea. This means we are one step closer to bringing our son home.

I am thankful for his birth family who made the choice of life for our son. We will be forever grateful that you made this beautiful choice. We are honored to be his forever family.

I am thankful to Bethany and our social worker who has helped us through every step of the process. It has gone so smoothly, I am amazed. We are blessed that this adoption process has been a positive one.

And above all I am so thankful for our son. What a beautiful gift we have been given. We can't wait to meet you and bring you home. You have already changed our lives in so many ways. This year, we are finally able to give thanks for you little one.

A different perspective

2009-11-11T21:23:00.003-06:00

Our agency, Bethany, recently posted this article on their blog. It talks about some of the issues unwed mothers face in Korea. It discusses some really interesting things. This is such a contrast to the way unwed mothers are viewed here. Part of me feels guilty that this is what led us to receive our son. At the same time I feel blessed that his birthmother choice life for him instead of the devastating alternative. I am grateful that she was able to make these difficult choices when it must have been so difficult. Thank you to baby k's birthmother and all other birthmothers making the ultimate sacrifice for their children. You are truly appreciated.

The purple chair

2009-11-10T19:42:00.003-06:00

After receiving our updated photos I was imagining baby k sitting in his little chair hanging out in his crib. Now, not so much. After checking out a few more adoption blogs I started to see a common theme....same purple chair and same blue bunny in the background! This must just be the common Holt picture area. Soon enough he'll have all his own stuff to hang out in!

On another note - baby k is 6 months old this week. So happy to know that his last wellness report stated that he is healthy and growing strong!

First update

2009-11-08T20:53:00.002-06:00

Thursday night we received our first update since the referral. He's gotten so big! It looks like he is already up to around 19 pounds. He's changing so fast and he looks so different from the original pictures we received. Each day it feels more and more real. Its starting to settle in that we are finally going to have a family. There's so much to do to get ready. I am anxious to start getting his room ready.

Baby's first gifts....

2009-11-01T19:01:00.003-06:00

Just finished packing the baby's gift box (with a little help from the cat). We are sending some small items to him and the foster family. He'll have some sleep n plays to wear, two new toys, a soft blanket, and a photo album. I wrote a nice note to foster mom and included some candy for her to share with the foster family. Hope that everything makes it there safe and sound!

Referral!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-25T11:30:00.003-05:00

We are so happy to announce that we received our referral from South Korea!!!!!!!!!!! Its been about a week since we received the news. On Thursday we officially signed all the paper work officially accepting our son. Now we wait for our travel call. If all goes smoothly we should travel some time in January or February.

a new adventure...

2009-06-17T19:49:00.003-05:00

Winter...spring...now almost summer! No big adoption updates. We've been slowly taking classes here and there and finishing the details as they come along. It truely is a long, slow process.

In other news - we are moving! So things are a bit crazy around here. Everything has gone much faster than we thought and we are scambling to get everything packed and ready to go. Our new house will be a little bit bigger and there are lots of opportunities for renovations (Jim's favorite hobby)! We are both very excited about the move but it is also sad to leave our first home, especially after we've gone through so many major events here. The new place will be a fresh start for us and we are looking forward to starting our family there. To new beginings and new adventures....

2008-12-24T09:50:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winter Wonderland!

2008-12-21T21:26:00.013-06:00

We are having another really snowy December! Here are some pics from the most recent storm.

I guess all this shoveling will help us pass the time while we wait....11 more days until we are "officially" waiting for our referral. :)

Home Study Update

2008-11-03T19:14:00.002-06:00

We are officially done with our home study visits! YAY! In the next few weeks we will be recieving our official write up. One more step done. : )

Waiting on you now........

2008-10-16T16:34:00.002-05:00

Well its been about 8 weeks. Yes, my boss has had 8 weeks to turn in my work reference. She is now on her 3rd copy and I am beyond frustrated. If you can't find me I'll be on my broom.....cooloing off for a while.

Remembering....

2008-10-15T22:12:00.003-05:00

Thinking of our little ones on their day of rememberence.

3 Down 1 to go.....

2008-10-11T12:40:00.004-05:00

The home study is almost complete. All we have left is the actual home visit. All the other inteviews have been in the office at Bethany. Our final visit will be October 21. I hope everything will be complete by November 1st. We are still on track to have all of our paper work submitted to S. Korea on January 1, 2009.

Wine Country Pics....

2008-09-29T21:32:00.007-05:00

Here are a few pictures from my recent trip to CA. I was in the wine country for a wedding.

(congrats Tom and Aimee)

We've started our home study!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-29T21:26:00.002-05:00

Well the home study is finally underway. Last Tuesday (9/23) was our first visit with "D" at the Bethany office. All went well. We spent a lot of time going over a BIG binder that was filled with information about the process. The meeting ended with some questions for the two of us to answer.

Next meetings -

ADK 10/2
JSK 10/9
Home visit 10/21

Here we go....

2008-08-15T18:45:00.002-05:00

We have an update from Bethany. I'll just cut and paste the email so we can share the news.

Greetings J & A:

Welcome to Bethany Christian Services! Your international formal application has been received and approved. You have been matched with ________, an adoption social worker in the ________ office. She will be contacting you within 3-5 weeks to schedule home study meetings. During this time, we will be processing your background checks, sending for references, etc. Please remind your references to reply in a timely fashion. Also, please schedule your physical examination appointments at this time.

You have been added to the "Korea" e-mail group. You will be receiving country updates, referral/travel announcements, and general Bethany information that I send out to all international Bethany-Wisconsin families in the Korea adoption program. Your email address will be hidden as confidential. If you prefer to list a different email, please let me know. We look forward to working with you on this precious journey of adoption.

(I removed the name of our social worker, we'll just call her "D" when making reference to her here.)

So here we go, the journey continues....................

New beginings

2008-08-13T09:11:00.005-05:00

Good luck JSK as you start your 4 th season as the Lancer's coach! Looking forward to a winning season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoping that by next season we'll have our little one to take to all your games. I know he/she will be daddy's biggest fan.

found it.....

2008-07-30T10:31:00.005-05:00

We'll I found it a while ago but I wanted to keep looking. I still keep coming back to this bedding. This is what it looks like (we'll be getting the same crib too).

http://www.landofnod.com/default.aspx

better the second time around...

2008-07-28T22:04:00.002-05:00

Well its been almost a week since that exciting day at the doctor/hospital. The second attempt was much better. Mostly because I knew where I was going and made it safely to the basement without any "looks". Even though I had a new lab employee again, she at least knew that she had to follow a specific protocol and therefor kept the directions close at hand. So we can check the health portion off the to do list! All tests came back clear so we are one step closer to being ready for the home study.

We've also started to accumulate some real baby items, its an odd feeling to have these things in the house now, knowing that we will be using them. Sometimes it still just feels like a dream.

common criminals

2008-07-21T22:21:00.004-05:00

Sometimes that's what I feel like we really are. This journey (IF and now adoption) has us jumping through so many hoops most people would not even believe it. Today I had my physical so that we can let the agency know that we are healthy enough to adopt a child. With that came drug and HIV testing as well. Now keep in mind we already had some of this done with treatment.

In our small little city they can't do drug screening with all the "normal" blood work in the hospital clinic lab. Instead, you basically are sent down to the basement ER lab to have "those tests" done. That's what I was told today in the regular hospital lab registration.....oh we don't do those types of tests here. I finally mentioned that this was for an adoption and the lady stopped giving me a strange look. Is drug screening really that uncommon that a receptionist should feel the need to give me a strange look? So basically that was me today.....wondering around the hospital basement...feeling like a criminal because I had to go to the basement of the hospital for blood work. This was a far cry from the royal treatment I was use to receiving at the RE for the past year and a half.

Sometime I wish that all parents would have to experience this stuff. I think it would really put things into perspective for some people.

Today I was looked at and spoken to like a common criminal or drug addict, and I get to do it all again on Wednesday because the lab tech ruined my sample today because she didn't follow the correct procedure.

The next step........

2008-07-02T20:22:00.002-05:00

It came earlier that expected! Bethany has contacted us and said they are ready to begin our home study. We weren't expecting this until late summer or early fall. It feels great to be making some actual progress.

Just a little FYI.....

2008-06-16T14:00:00.005-05:00

While we have chose to adopt, I still find the subject of IF and its impact very close to my heart. It is a hard situation for both the couple and those who surround them. Here is a list (found on another blog) that compiles some of the general do's and don'ts surrounding the situation of IF.

One of the things that has truly been on my heart during our journey through infertility is educating people about infertility.Many of you have asked me my opinion on what you should or shouldn't say to someone struggling with this. I am speaking more to women. While this is a couple's issue, this is something that usually affects women much more than men.So here is my short and sweet guide. If you follow these rules, you won't go wrong!THE BASICS:A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:

#1 They will eventually conceive a baby.
#2 They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
#3 They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.

It is important that you understand that each of these three "routes" offers excitement, pain, and heartbreak in their own way. I have friends who have chosen or been forced down each of these different paths. It is important that you don't press them down any of these roads. #1 is racked with worry and fears after the amount of time and money invested. #2 and #3 are very difficult choices and usually not the first option. Here are some things you should NOT say to them while you are struggling. Now if you have said any of these to someone, don't feel bad. One of my dear friends was struggling with infertility before I was diagnosed. Looking back, I said every one of these things to her. I have apologized, but she understands that I meant well. I understand that people mean well. However, the more educated you are, the better.

Don't tell them to relax. This is called the "R" word in infertile circles. This is very rarely the problem for infertile people. While stress can be a problem, it is often not the issue for people who publicize their infertility journey. Stress is usually an issue that is quickly rectified.

Don't minimize the problem or say there are worse things that can happen. Don't say this really isn't a big deal or shouldn't bother them that much. Of course there are worse things that can happen. Any life-changing event could be worse, but it doesn't change how much it hurts.

Don't say they aren't meant to be parents. Well meaning Christians often say this trying to imply God's will is sovereign. Faith and God's presence is a huge issue for infertile women -- let them deal with this on their own or with a Christian counselor.

Don't ask why they aren't trying IVF. IVF is very expensive with a lot of ethical considerations. It isn't an "easy" decision.

Don't play doctor. Don't give medical advice unless you really know what you are talking about.

Don't be crude. This should be obvious. Making jokes about "Do you need a lesson?" is just mean.

Be tender when making a pregnancy announcement. The general rule here is to not make your announcement in a public place with your infertile friend in attendance. Instead send them a card or an email and allow them to digest it privately first. Or sometimes you can tell the husband and ask them to let the wife know. Remember that they are happy for you but they are jealous for their own frustrations.

Don't complain about your pregnancy or your children. Obviously there are things to complain
about but it is a wise move to find someone else to confide in with these problems.

Don't push adoption (yet). The general rule is to not bring this up unless they bring it up first. This is a very wonderful and tender topic and when they are ready, they will share. Why do most people not adopt and have genetic children? Because biological children is the primary choice for most people. Your friend is no different in this desire.

Don't start any story with ... "I know someone..." or "I had a friend who..." These stories often feature the exception, not the rule. The biggest culprits: "I know who a friend who went on a vacation and then had a baby", and "I know who friend who got pregnant right after they adopted." These cause chills down an infertile women's spine.

Let them know that you care. Cards or caring acts are appreciated.

Remember them on Mother's Day. Church is very painful on Mother's Day when you are infertile. John and I don't go. We plan a fun day away from all the mother's with flowers. You can simply send a nice card that you are remembering them on that day like you would the anniversary of a loss. My friend Deanna had her kids (my godkids) send special "God-Mom" cards on Mother's Day one year. This was a wonderful thought.

Don't tell them that if they adopt, they will probably become pregnant. The fact is that less than 1% of couples conceive after adoption.

Support their decision to stop treatments. Again, a personal decision. Encourage them in whatever direction they choose. If they want advice, they'll ask.

Don't say "I hope this works for you because being a parent is the best thing ever." I have heard this on more than one occasion -- shocking? Yes. Painful? Yes. I know they meant well but it is hard to hear.If your friend (or an acquaintance) brings up their infertility to you, they are wanting to talk to to you about it. From that point on, the conversation is probably welcome. Start off by saying, "If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay, but how is everything going?" Most of the time, once a couple decides to share, a woman wants to talk about it.Okay, so that's a lot of things NOT to do.

But what should you do:

Pray for them.

Remember their "calendar" and send an email or card on a big day.

Put them in touch with other women "in their situation". (Ask them if they want to be contacted or do the contacting.)

Attend Support Group meetings with them.

Invite them to all events but give them the option to "opt" out of events that might be painful (baby showers, baptisms, etc.)
Invite them to special child-free events whenever possible.

Give them poems or even books that you think might be helpful -- try to have another infertile friend give a "stamp" of approval on the book. (I have a great list!)

Offer to go to appointments with them if their husband is unavailable.

Recognize that not being able to have a child is the loss of a dream. It is the same as a single person who wants to get married not finding "the one" or an athlete having a career-ending injury. It's a loss of sorts. They will move through stages of grief including a time when they question their faith. However, they will cycle through this with love and prayer.

Read books that will help you understand the infertile woman's heart. I strongly recommend Water from the Rock to understand the grief process infertile women go through.

First purchase!

2008-05-19T21:15:00.002-05:00

The first baby item has been purchased. We've decided to decorate the nursery with vintage toys.

Change is the very nature of adoption!

2008-05-14T19:53:00.003-05:00

"Please remember that change is the very nature of adoption. Families that have the best adoption experience are flexible and understanding of the changes that will inevitably occur."

These were the words given to us by our first adoption agency - while I believed they were true, there is a sense of irony (ok maybe coincidence) in that their closing made us look again at our options.

We were not sure where to start once we found out that our agency was closing. We were still pretty sure that we wanted to adopt an infant from Colombia. Our agency that did close was helpful enough to give us a list of accredited adoption agencies in Wisconsin and she recommended three different agencies. Bethany Christian Services was one of them. We actually had planned on investigating them earlier, but our other agency seemed like a good fit and we were scared by the high price tag (Go figure).

We looked at all three agencies and Bethany just seemed to fit for us. A second agency, which will remain nameless, wanted us to sign on the dotted line right away. We needed to get started on May 17th or wait until August, which wouldn't work for either of us. If I am one thing - it is that I don't really rush into anything. Some people call it procrastination, my wife just thinks I am slow - not mentally but it just takes me a long time to do things - I like to think that I am just analytical and practical about things. Either way - the agency wasn't the best fit. The third agency, while nothing really wrong with them, didn't really impress me like Bethany did. So we decided to go to an informational meeting at Bethany.

This is where things get interesting. Of course, driving up to the meeting we get lost. I learned the hard way that Google maps aint so reliable. Thanks to a timely placed call to my Mom, some patience and new directions we were able to arrive at the meeting 20 - 25 minutes late. Nothing like making a first impression. Good thing we've been to a few of these otherwise we would of been lost. We did get there in time to go over the international adoption options.

I should say that at this point we had filled an initial online application just to make sure that we could be accepted. Pretty basic stuff there. We still felt that Colombia was our first option for an infant, but we also knew that South Korea was an option as was Ethiopia.

The one concern we had with Colombia was that it was a long wait. 3 Years! We weren't sure we could handle that. The more we looked at it the more South Korea felt right. So we decided to take a little bit different road in our adoption journey....Hello South Korea.

The next step was pre-clearance and being placed on the waiting list. All went well and we are now officially on the waiting list. That means we will be submitting our application to South Korea in Jan. 09 and we should get our referral (baby) 12 - 18 months latter. If you are doing the math that is about 18 - 24 months from now. I gotta tell you Pre-Approval never felt so good.....

Our first set back

2008-04-27T14:26:00.002-05:00

Saturday morning we got some unexpected news. Our local agency is closing as of May 31, 2008. We were just about finished with the application and getting ready to send it out this week. So as of now we are without an agency to do our home study. I am glad that this happened before we paid any money or started the home study. Now we are back to researching and finding the right agency to do our home study.

2008-04-18T21:22:00.005-05:00

While researching Colombia I recently rediscovered the art of Fernando Botero. His figures are fascinatingly beautiful. The painting is titled Dancing in Colombia, 1983. The statues are in Plaza Botero in Medellín.

2008-04-04T22:48:00.001-05:00

Adoption. We can finally say that we are going to adopt! It has been a long journey to get to this point but we are finally here. We are finally moving in the right direction.

First goal is to complete all the paper work. That means applications for two agencies. One local and one that will handle the international portion. As soon as that is done (and we are accepted) then we can really start to move forward. I know this is only the beginning of the paper work. Everyone has to start somewhere....right?

Right now our top choice is Colombia!